The [Adventure] of Becoming

[Adventure 210]

We are all becoming something, someone. Becoming goes hand in hand with living.

We are always becoming ourselves. On a daily basis we are battling our culture's expectations and others' opinions as we attempt to navigate the world as fully ourselves as possible. We are constantly learning what it is to be ourselves, as likes and dislikes, opinions and convictions, emotions and identity are fluid, ebbing and flowing and becoming something different than they were the day, month or years before. 

The person I was at age 6 is not the same person I was at 16, and that person is vastly different from the person I was at 26 or 36. We experience, we learn, we grow, we change. 

So when someone tells me they want to be one thing when they grow up and then that changes as they navigate life and find inspiration in different things, I encourage them to follow their passion. Should someone use certain pronouns and then change that months or years later, I use their new pronouns. When a person tells me they identify as one gender identity and later come to me and let me know of a change in that identity, I embrace that change with open arms.

If you'd asked me my sexuality when I got married, I'd have said heterosexual. After all, I was in a heterosexual relationship. I did, however, describe to my husband that I was attracted to other human beings, not just men. Still married to the same man twenty-five years later, I now identify as pansexual because that's what I am.

I'm not a doctor, as I assumed I'd become when I was in high school. I breastfed and practiced natural weaning, we had a family bed, I gave birth to two of my children at home and we homeschooled our children - things I couldn't even have imagined at 16 or even 26. I was happy being "just a mom" - something society told me wasn't a worth occupation when I was growing up, but something I felt called to. My interest in medicine and the classes I pursued in preparation for a possible future as a doctor have served me well as a chronically ill mom of children with medical issues. My love for  learning more about things that interest me served me well as I helped my children learn to learn and follow their interests. And my love for human beings helped create a home where my children and their friends can be who they are, wear what feels good, and love who they love. 

Who knows who I'll be when I'm 56 ... but hopefully I'll spend the next ten years becoming kinder, more compassionate, more loving, more mindful, and better at supporting those I love as they become more themselves.