Death by Dishes [Adventure]

 

[Adventure 105]

I nearly died.

OK, so I didn't nearly die in an actually dying way, but in a my body and mind nearly completely shut down and I couldn't move or speak and I had to take more steroids and pump my body full of sodium and rest a lot in order to recover kind of way. 

I have multiple chronic illnesses, including adrenal insufficiency. I'm in pain all the time. Because of this combination of illness and pain, I often do my best to ignore the signals my body is giving to me. I don't have a high tolerance for pain, I have an ability to continue on despite the pain. I ignore exhaustion and keep going. Sometimes these things work to my benefit and sometimes they nearly kill me.

The other day I was doing all the things and ignoring the pain and exhaustion and then needed to make myself food and began doing so but had to wash other people's dishes to make room for what I wanted to do and basically used up energy I didn't have. I went from doing ok to not at all ok in seconds. I made it to my bed, then out of bed again just making it into the bathroom to be sick. Realizing then how much trouble I was in, I swallowed some prescription steroid pills before collapsing into bed. I was barely aware of my husband trying to talk to me. The amount of pain I was experiencing was unbearable and my mind and body could not cope. My body was quickly using up the little cortisol it had left and if I could have formed a thought, I would have prayed my body was still capable of converting the steroids I took into cortisol. 

I'm not sure how long I laid there, but eventually my husband's voice broke through the pain and I was able to nod in agreement to his offer to run out and get me food, including overly salty fries. By the time he returned, I was able to sit up. Food never tasted so good, although the process of chewing was exhausting and my body didn't want to cooperate with the movement of bringing food to my mouth, as it just produced more pain. 

People often ask why I don't go to the emergency department when these things happen and/or why I don't just take some sort of pain medication. Going to the ED in a pandemic has its issues, and I can't take pain meds due to liver issues, so it doesn't make sense for me to risk catching something in the ED if all they can do for me is give me pain medication, which they can't anyway. 

The moral of the story, it seems to me, is: do your damn dishes so your mother doesn't die.