[Adventure] In Being Burned Out

 

[Adventure 95]

I'm burned out from this pandemic. 

I'm the kind of person who loves to do things for others, but the balance of doing for others and self care has gone out the window. I can't go out and do something for myself, either due to covid or due to me being too ill most of the time. Doing something for myself at home is nearly impossible as well, as there is always something to do and my OCD seldom lets me relax until things are done.

And speaking of time, much of it is spent working on worship videos for my church, home improvements, doing things for my children to make sure they survive this quarantine with as little trauma as possible, and managing the bills, groceries, future plans, etc. I spend countless hours on hold with doctors, pharmacies, our internet provider, and the pizza place that one time put me on hold and then forgot about me which is why we order online now. 

I'm tired. I'm tired of being cooped up, of dry hands from so much hand sanitizer, of asking everyone if they have their masks before we leave the house, of going to medical appointments and through medical procedures alone. I'm tired of telehealth appointments that should be in person appointments, of not being able to receive some of the medical care I need because doctors don't see it as necessity, and of putting off physical therapy and other medical things due to trying to keep myself safe.

Nevertheless, I will look for new ways to take care of myself, to do things I enjoy, and to make it through this. I'll take breaks when I need to. I'll set limits. I'll find new fun things to do with my children. I'll look forward to a couple weeks in one of my most beloved spaces in a few months. I'll continue to learn new things and improve our living environment.