[Seek] Less

Every once in a while I look around my house and don't feel at peace.

Clutter bothers me - which might be a surprise to my parents, who waded through my teenage bedroom once upon a time. I live in a house full of clutter-keepers and every once in a while, I find I've had enough. I sort through my closet and get rid of clothes I haven't worn in a while. Or, should I say, my teens claim most of my castoffs, adding to their clutter. 

I go room by room, clearing clutter from shelves and drawers, reorganizing, streamlining. Every time I wonder where all this stuff came from. 

I know where it came from. From friends who give us useful things, from thrift stores, from times in or lives when we need the stuff, from activities in which we participate, from left-overs from one project or another. 

And if I'm honest with myself, I admit that the clutter comes from insecurity, from depression, from exhaustion. Any of those things affect the way I deal with our belongings. Clean clothes and other items pile up on the chair near my bed because I'm too overwhelmed or exhausted to deal with them in the moment. Cobwebs and dust assert themselves as I lay in bed doing my best to cope with my illnesses. 

So I seek less. Less clothing to have to put away - how may t-shirts does one person need, anyway? Less books to clutter shelves because there's always the library. Less art not created by my family (and created family), because - believe me- we have an overabundance of art on our walls already. Fewer things cluttering counters and other surfaces. 

I seek less in terms of time spent as well. I whittle down my obligations and pastimes to those that nourish my soul and energize my life. 

I let go of things that don't serve me or my family well so that I may more deeply embrace life.