[Seek] A Future Together

We were nineteen years old and I never thought I'd ever see him again. But at the same time, I knew I was going to marry him. I didn't believe it then, and I can't explain it now. I just knew.

Twenty-six years later, we've done a fairly good job of living up to the vows we made twenty-four years ago - staying together and loving each other through good times and bad, in sickness and health. We could never have predicted how difficult the hard times would be, or how profoundly illness would affect our lives. 

We made it through the miscarriage of our first child; the births of five children in twice as many years; and the miscarriage of twins...over fourteen and a half years of breastfeeding; thirteen years of co-sleeping; and twenty-one years of home/unschooling. We've dealt with our children's various diagnoses including autism, OCD, PCOS, hEDS, and more; my numerous diagnoses; and everything those diagnoses mean for each person. We've gone from surviving on macaroni and cheese, turkey burgers, and Koolaid to needing to cater to gluten free and pescatarian diets. We've gone from thinking we had three boys and two girls to realizing gender has nothing to do with sex assigned at birth. We've explored life together as young newlyweds, through the eyes of our children, and as parents of teens. 

We have been on quite a journey!

I look back at photos of our twenty-one-year-old selves from our wedding and think - what were we thinking? And then I realize we weren't. We were feeling. We were knowing. We were in love with each other, confident in the fact that it is love for a lifetime. 

I am still deeply in love with my husband, but it's different. I now know that he has every confidence in me to make major life choices for our family - from parenting to medical decisions to unschooling, to how our household functions. I have experienced the level of care he's capable of giving me when I'm at my most ill, and the love and compassion he has for me when I'm at my worst. 

Just like any couple, we've definitely had rough times, times we distanced ourselves from each other. During those times my heart breaks most because of how wholly I love him and how well I know his heart and his ability to love and care for me and our children. It breaks my heart to see him struggle., Through everything, the constant was love. 

I thank God every day for my husband. For all the hard work he does, for his love, and for copious laughter he brings to my life. 

I'm excited to see what the next twenty-four years has in store!