Destructive [Adventure] or Creative [Adventure]

 

[Adventure 58]

We let our kids paint on our walls. For their entire lives, they've been welcome to paint, even draw, on the walls of their rooms. They've had birthday parties centered around painting murals and other random things on their walls. Their art and their friends' art has always covered their walls.

Now, as teens and young adults, their art has spilled out over most of the rooms in our house, only now it's on canvas or paper. I love seeing their artwork wherever I go.

There's a person I've encountered on social media who gets attacked on a daily basis for allowing his child to draw on his bedroom walls. For this child, who has been through trauma in his young life, it is a therapeutic and creative outlet. It's another way for him to express himself. He's not destroying walls, he's creating art. Instead of holding things in, this child is being encouraged to express himself through his creativity. His parents, who recently finalized his adoption, have taken something that others tend to see as destructive and disruptive and find the beauty in it - just as they did with their son, who, when he came into their care acted out in destructive and disruptive ways. And don't get me wrong - drawing on the walls is not a trauma response, it is simply an act of pure joy and beauty for this amazing child. 

Paint, marker, or crayon on walls isn't the end of the world. The walls can be cleaned and painted over when needed. Our children's bedroom walls have displayed many different works of art over the years. What we can't do over is our children's childhoods. Giving them safe spaces and safe ways to best express themselves is easier if we follow their lead and let go of our own hang ups. Whether fighting dragons real or imaginary, our children need to be seen and heard and need us to be the fairy godparents who transform their world into a safe space. And sometimes that looks like seeing and celebrating the writing or drawing or painting on the walls.