OCD [Adventure]

 

[Adventure 28]

I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I was diagnosed with OCD as a young adult and it explained so much of my childhood. Rather than being a burdensome diagnosis, I found it a relief. 

I attempt to use my OCD powers for good, but the thing is, I don't have the cleaning OCD powers, unless it's someone else's house. Dishes can sit in the sink and laundry can pile up in my house. If I'm at someone else's house, I'll wash your dishes and fold your laundry tout de suite. 

When I'm stressed, my OCD goes on a rampage. It makes it difficult to function. I count everything - sounds, visual things, or just count up and down over and over in my head. I struggle to control my compulsions to poke people or bite my lips and cheeks...or my husband. Obsessive thoughts overwhelm and distract me. Instead of being able to focus my OCD powers and use them for good, OCD paralyzes me. So I start small. Usually with washing dishes. And once I start, I have to wash every dirty dish in the house. My eldest daughter and fellow night owl can attest to the fact that I will seek out the dishes from her room at 2am when I can't sleep due to OCD-related insomnia. Dishes lead to laundry, and eventually I start at least getting my environment in order. The longer the stress, the more chaos I create in my attempt to create order. Projects will be started. Some will be completed and some will fall to the wayside. 

When something in my life is going well, my OCD decides all the things have to be going well. So I reorganize our house and our lives. In the three days following the Inauguration, I cleaned out and organized our kitchen cabinets, and with the help of my children cleaned out and reorganized our pantries and freezers. And some shelves in the dining room. And I built a cart to turn into a snack trolley for game night ...

and replaced the pendant light in the living room. And placed grocery delivery orders from two different grocery stores at 2:30AM. And basically didn't sleep much for days. 

Living with OCD isn't easy, and I hate it when it negatively affects those around me, but it is certainly makes life an adventure!