Long Trip Home [Adventure]
[Adventure 31]
And seven minutes later he called to let me know that a firetruck passed him in response to an accident and the road he is on is closed for the moment. My OCD and anxiety exploded at the word "accident."
In the following ten minutes, I tried reading a chapter of a book for a book study and abandoned the attempt because I was too anxious. I caught up with emails and the random posts facebook has decided to show me. I plugged in my phone to charge. I got children out the door to shovel the driveway. And I did my best not to go fully into the panic attack that had been building as my OCD mind rummaged through the countless things that could go wrong on my husband's drive home, especially seeing as something already had.
I did my best to take deep breaths, otherwise I found myself hyperventilating. I prayed for his safety. I tried to listen to music, but couldn't find anything that didn't overwhelm my senses. I tried the many relaxation / mindfulness techniques I have learned over the years, but none stopped the incessant hum of doubt that infected every good thought.
I got up again to start getting dinner ready and then sat back down. And got up again and went to the kitchen. I did some dishes and started getting things out of the fridge for dinner. I tried not to think about where he was or if he was safe, but it was all I could do to stay inside and not go down to the road to look out for him.
It hadn't even been that long, but it was all I could do not to call him. I didn't want to call him, because I didn't want him answering while driving, but I also needed peace of mind. My heart was racing. I was on the verge of tears. I kept thinking I hear a car outside, but it was always nothing.
Then I heard another vehicle. It was just the plow. And just as I told the kids to go out and make sure everything was salted and tell me if they saw him coming down our street, he walked through the door.
I thanked God he was home safe and did my best not to show the panic I felt from that long trip home. Somehow I think it was more daunting of an adventure for me than it was for him.
In the following ten minutes, I tried reading a chapter of a book for a book study and abandoned the attempt because I was too anxious. I caught up with emails and the random posts facebook has decided to show me. I plugged in my phone to charge. I got children out the door to shovel the driveway. And I did my best not to go fully into the panic attack that had been building as my OCD mind rummaged through the countless things that could go wrong on my husband's drive home, especially seeing as something already had.
I did my best to take deep breaths, otherwise I found myself hyperventilating. I prayed for his safety. I tried to listen to music, but couldn't find anything that didn't overwhelm my senses. I tried the many relaxation / mindfulness techniques I have learned over the years, but none stopped the incessant hum of doubt that infected every good thought.
I got up again to start getting dinner ready and then sat back down. And got up again and went to the kitchen. I did some dishes and started getting things out of the fridge for dinner. I tried not to think about where he was or if he was safe, but it was all I could do to stay inside and not go down to the road to look out for him.
It hadn't even been that long, but it was all I could do not to call him. I didn't want to call him, because I didn't want him answering while driving, but I also needed peace of mind. My heart was racing. I was on the verge of tears. I kept thinking I hear a car outside, but it was always nothing.
Then I heard another vehicle. It was just the plow. And just as I told the kids to go out and make sure everything was salted and tell me if they saw him coming down our street, he walked through the door.
I thanked God he was home safe and did my best not to show the panic I felt from that long trip home. Somehow I think it was more daunting of an adventure for me than it was for him.
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