25 years of [Adventure]

[Adventure 13]

We were so young.

It all started when I was 19 and met this guy and had the thought, "I'm going to marry that guy," and then brushed it off. And then, months later, recognized the guy but didn't remember where from, kinda sorta stalked the guy, and eventually became really good friends with him. And was madly and deeply in love with him the entire time. And was angry with God because I just did not want anything to do with men. At all. But I couldn't not love him, no matter how hard I tried.

We were engaged when we were twenty. Married just after turning twenty-one. 

We lost our first baby when we were twenty-three and had our first child a week before I turned twenty-four. This child is now older than we were when we got married!

At twenty-four we bought a house, at twenty-five we had our second child, and at twenty-seven we had our third. 

Done having children, we spent the next couple years working, homeschooling, and raising three young children. Then along came my thirtieth birthday present - I was pregnant with child number four.

My health issues and raising four energetic children consumed the next couple years. 

Thirty-two years old with four children, life was chugging along when a fifth child decided to surprise us with their presence. At thirty-three we had five children under the age of ten. 

The next ten years are a blur of health issues and various diagnoses for myself and some of our children. I miscarried twins days after my husband got a vasectomy, was diagnosed with multiple disabling autoimmune and genetic illnesses, and have had varying mobility issues. We found our second and third "homes" at Epoch Arts and Camp Calumet. We added various "part time" children to our family. We went through extremely rough times and incredibly joyful times. 

At forty-three, our second-born child came out as transgender, and we celebrated with her as she took steps to embrace her true self. At forty-four our middle child came out as non-binary. We gained more members of our family through our daughter and middle child's significant others. At forty-five we discovered we're a house full of queers with a token straight guy, as the rest of our children came out as one or more of the letters of LGBTQIA+.

At forty six we're celebrating our twenty-fifth anniversary in month eleven of a global covid-19 pandemic. A new strain of covid has arrived in the US, and last month was the worst of the pandemic so far. 

We are learning more than ever now what is important in our lives and what we can live without. We're working on bettering ourselves and our surroundings. I'm finally allowed to watch Christmas movies until February and keep the Christmas tree up as well. That's true love.

How we got from me begging God not to be in love with this man to twenty-five years of marriage and a bunch of children (biological or otherwise) astounds me. 

It hasn't been easy. Our marriage is far from perfect. But we love each other through our mistakes and imperfections. We forgive and learn and move forward. Sometimes we take a few steps backward and start again. But that's what love is about. We aren't just growing old together, we're growing, together. 

These past twenty-five years have taken us on adventures we could never have imagined - from having the quality vs. quantity of life discussion at age thirty-six to celebrating twenty-five years of marriage ten years later.