[Seek] Understanding

[Advent 11]

People hear about me participating in a 5K or doing a "Walk" fundraiser for something and send me messages expressing how glad they are that I'm feeling so much better.

 It isn't what they think. 

Just because I say I'm doing some sort of physical activity doesn't mean that I'm somehow suddenly feeling better. I'm using my wheelchair or crutches. I'm still in constant pain. I'm always exhausted. And I have people with me that can help me if my body fails. 

I refuse to give up doing things I love if I can figure out a way to do them. 

I can record music for worship videos despite a migraine or intense joint and muscle pain. I can make a full Christmas dinner on very little sleep and gashes in the bottom of my foot from broken glass. I can put on my I'm-fine voice when talking to others when my body is screaming and my mind is overwhelmed. I can clean the church kitchen, but I know full well my body will be paying for it for days on end.

People who live with chronic illness are experts at looking fine while feeling like death. We are also able to experience happiness and extreme pain at the same time. Our lives would be miserable if we couldn't. We are able to push ourselves beyond normal limits to do things we love so our quality of life for just those few moments can be something we treasure. 

If you have a family member or friend who lives with chronic illness and/or chronic pain, please understand that looks can be deceiving. Let them know that they can be real with you about how they feel; that you're willing to help as needed; and that they deserve relaxation and fun, too.