[Seek] Bad Influences

[Advent 13]

["Adult" subjects mentioned]

My children have some "bad influences" in their lives and I'm one of them. At least according to some people with whom I recently had a conversation. 

We have five children. Well, most of them aren't children, they're young adults, ages 18, 20, and nearly 22. Our two other children are 15 and 12. 

My children have always been allowed to swear, as long as the words they are using are appropriate for the situation, location, and audience. And as long as they realize what the words actually mean and how ridiculous what they're saying would sound if they substituted a synonym in that word's place.

My young adults also play Cards Against Humanity, a card game for adults with adult content. I play it with them. I would rather they're able to talk about literally anything with their mother than be afraid to use "taboo" words or talk about explicit subjects. 

My children watch videos, mostly on youtube, that contain objects available for purchase in adult retail establishments and/or videos that talk about viewing material also available in said establishments - mostly used for comedic purposes. They are familiar with the Great British Pasta Shortage of 2020 and the resulting increase in popularity of a brand of phallic pasta. We openly talk about fake phalluses and about genitalia in general, especially as I answer questions my kids have about transgender and intersex people, as well as sex in general.

None of this is new. I had a child who, when potty training, would sing his rendition of Old MacDonald Has a P&nis. We've always used the correct terms for genitals, we've had a child who stripped naked whenever we got in the car (buckled into their carseat, in 20 seconds or less), and children who considered pants optional until certain incidents convinced them otherwise.

Someone questioned why I would ever let my children know about all of these things or use such language or talk freely about such lewd subject matter. The answer is simple. I want my children to feel safe talking to me about anything, including and especially things pertaining to their own bodies. I want my transgender child to be able to talk about SRS without embarrassment and her siblings to be able to ask questions about it freely. I wanted my children to know the proper names for their body parts in case anything ever happened to them that caused them to need to know that information and convey what happened to medical professionals and/or authorities. I want my children to know that things are only taboo if we make them so. Body parts are body parts. S&x toys exist. Some transgender men pack. The primary function of breasts is lactation in people with the ability to bear children (and amab people can lactate as well, actually), but it is also possible for them to be aesthetically pleasing to some. Sex happens. 

If I'm a bad influence, so be it. I believe my kids are better prepared for the real world because of it. And they actually don't swear much at all, because sometimes, when you're given the freedom to do something, it's less appealing to do so.