[Seek] Peace Instead of Anger

[Lent 9]

One of my former doctors is in jail. He used my health insurance to get expensive medications, charging other patients for said medications. He apparently did this to others as well, to the tune of close to a million dollars. 

I have questions surrounding all of this, as it not only affected me through my involvement in the investigation, but also the ramifications of his actions on my health over the past five years. Did he take me off of the said expensive medication and put me on a cheaper, less effective one because the original medication wasn't working as well for me anymore or because he wanted to make money off of it? Was it not working as well because he perhaps was giving me less of it, or was it really not working well? The medication worked wonders for me when it worked. Could I have maintained a better level of health had he not taken me off the medication? How much of what he did and said was true, and how much was a scam? 

Thinking about all of this made me furious. Who is he to screw with my health, with my life, for his own illegal monetary gain? Anger sat like a boulder in the middle of my chest as the investigation dragged on, leading to his eventual incarceration. 

After carrying it around with me for too long, I stopped myself. My anger against him was doing him no harm, while it was killing me. I didn't know what was going on in his life that he felt compelled to do this, what kind of broken he was that money became more important than giving his patients proper care. I can only guess at his motivations, and I could be totally wrong, so why carry that load when I could seek peace instead of anger and move on with my life?

I chose to drop the boulder of anger that was slowing me down and move forward down the path of forgiveness.  With the information I now have, I can start fresh with my new doctor and figure out what treatments will be best for me. With the peace I now have I am lighter, free.