[Nevertheless] I Don't Care

Enveloped in a giant sweatshirt...feet and all, curled up on a couch with my eyes closed in prayer and meditation, I must have been quite the sight to the swarm of parents and children who burst through the door, taking refuge from the pouring rain and icy wind. My purple hair, lazily pulled away from my face with a head wrap added to my look of total disarray. I was exhausted, my pain levels through the roof. I was not having a good day, nevertheless, an amused smile crept across my face as I imagined what I must look like to these strangers. 

I came quickly to the realization that I didn't care. 

I didn't care how they perceived me. I was as warm and as comfortable and as at peace as I could manage in that moment, and that was what was really important. Not having had the energy or capability of doing more than pulling my hair back, throwing on a huge sweatshirt, and calling it a day if I was also going to drive my child to and from her evening activity as well, I was doing my best and that's all I could ask of myself.

Often, peope living with chronic illness and/or chronic pain have to make decisions between personal appearance and showing up. I'd much rather people wonder what was up with the purple haired sweatshirt blob than have my daughter miss a creative evening with friends. 

Besides, body-enveloping sweatshirts are the epitome of comfort on a cold Winter day.