Wednesday, December 7, 2016

The Truth


Why do we struggle so much with the truth, our truth, and letting others in on it. Why do we try to cover up every blemish, every fault, every not-quite-perfect thing about ourselves?

The truth is, everyone has imperfections. Everyone makes mistakes. We are all human. Embracing our own human-ness could make the world a better place.

The truth is I'm fat. I'm sick. I'm tired. I have scars. I don't fit culture's definition of beautiful. I have tattoos. I'm in constant pain. I sometimes yell at my kids. I have obsessive-compulsive disorder. I have depression and anxiety disorders. I'm a Christian. I'm kind. I believe in love and forgiveness and acceptance and sharing joy. I'm incredibly "crunchy" when it comes to things like birth, breastfeeding, parenting, and what I feed my family -  most of the time - but there are days when I allow way too much screen time just so I can lay in bed and not have to deal with anything for a while. 

I love my children and my husband fiercely. I am blessed with wonderful, generous, loving parents and in-laws. I struggle with feeling like I'm not enough and don't contribute enough. I struggle with feeling like I do too much and use all my energy being everything to everyone. I am thankful for amazing friends, for opportunities to give, and for the enormous amount of love in my life. I feel best when I'm able to do something positive for someone else...and when I'm curled up with my family watching a good movie or playing a game. 

There are days I feel lost and despair. There are days I feel lost and rejoice. I value solitude as well as connection.

I spent half of my live striving to be normal. I will spend the rest of my life striving to be me.

What would happen if we all told our truth - just put it all out there for the world to see? If we were all our true selves, not fearing judgement, not feeling shame?

I've been told that my blog is intensely personal, and I agree. But life is intensely personal. There are many people who have the same struggles as I have or had, and knowing we are not alone in our pain or sadness or frustration is comforting. Sharing with others the message that you are not alone, you are valued, you are loved, is essential for all of us to do in one way or another. And so I put my truth out there, in all its raw ugliness, raw beauty, in hopes that someone feels less alone, less shame, and can feel the self-worth that carries us all through the most difficult times.

God, thank you for the opportunity to share my truth. Please help me and others to live and speak our truths and help others living similar truths to not feel alone. Help us to receive others' truths without judgement, with love. Be with those who are persecuted for living their truths. 



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