Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Things I Should Not Be Allowed to Do

1. Shop at Ikea. Even creating a shopping list at ikea.com, I end up with several hundred dollars of stuff on my list before getting to the stuff I went there to buy. Like two more bins for a rack I already own and seating for my dining room. Did you know they have solar powered things??? And you couldn't possibly have too many SPÖKAs,could you? I'm going there on Friday. I will not stray from my shopping list. I will not stray from my shopping list. I will not stray from my shopping list.

2. Rearrange furniture. There are several reasons for this, the first being that I have psoriatic arthritis, usually choose to do these projects when my husband is at work with only the help of small children, because the bigger children would apparently rather sleep than move furniture. The second being that I usually decide to move furniture sometime around 7:30PM, which is not a good time to be moving furniture, and basically assures lots of work left over for the next day.

3. Converse with people after 5pm. Definitely not past 8pm. My language skills go downhill starting at around 4pm. Word retrieval is not so much good by 5 and pretty much non-existent past 8. My poor husband gets home from work and has to deal with someone who basically calls things by names having nothing to do with even the general idea of the thing or who speaks complete jibberish and points. Really. I have had many conversations with him that go as follows:

Me, excitedly, because I have some sort of brilliant idea or remembered something incredibly important that needed to be said: "Honey!"
Him: "Yes..."
Me: *stares at him*
Him: "It's gone, isn't it."
Two minutes later...
Me: "Honey - the thing with the that we have to do with people. Tomorrow." (Notice I don't pause for him to respond, lest I lose what I'm going to say.)
Him: "Mmmmhmmm...???"
Me: *stares blankly*
Him: "Time for your medicine?" 
Me: *nods*

If you see me doing any of these things, proceed with caution. Or run for cover. Or join in the fun. Your choice. 

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