[Nevertheless] Believe in Yourself

We completed our sixth hike of the year this past weekend at Wadsworth Falls State Park in Middletown, CT. It came two days after my husband lost his job due to downsizing. Inevitably some of our conversation during the hike centered on him finding a new job - but mostly in a dreaming of new and better things way. Walking in the woods tends to lend to feelings of peace and hope.

We shared both good conversation and mindful silence as we navigated the muddy, slushy, icy, and sometimes treacherous path. At one point, as we watched our teenage companions slide down a hill on the trail toward Little Falls.

My wonderful husband asked if I was actually going to continue and seemed a bit concerned for my safety when I said yes. You see, hiking in and of itself is an act of moving through fear in order to do something I love. I spent the past year telling myself "I can't" much too often. Those thoughts built a wall of fear that I'm struggling to overcome.

In order to move into the mindset of "I can," I need to push myself out of my comfort zone. It's scary, nevertheless, it's a way for me to work toward believing in my abilities and in myself.

At one point, after making it to the waterfall and up the slippery slope to the top of the falls, I veered off the path. There was some sort of brick wall that I wanted to investigate. Splashing across a stream in not at all water resistant sneakers, I was quickly followed by my eighteen year old daughter, Zephyr, who really wanted to see where the tunnel went.

My husband and Zeph's boyfriend stayed safe and dry on the other side, surely thinking we'd both lost our minds.

It felt wonderful to just go and explore, not afraid of the consequences of wet feet (the cold water actually felt soothing), and realizing from our last hiking adventure that if I were to fall, I had it in me to forge on despite the pain. I'm learning to believe in myself and my abilities despite my disabilities.