Friday, July 27, 2012

Secret Treasure




Cleaning out a bookcase, I came across an old notebook, cover gone, pages stained, falling apart. Rummaging through it, I discovered quotes and poetry by famous and not so famous people written there years ago. My heart skipped a beat or two when my eyes rested on words written by a teenager during one of the most difficult times of her life. My life. From the time in my life I was Broken. 


Words as simple as:

A moment of silence
       amidst the confusion
                         is all I ask.


And words capable of transporting me to the dark place I resided much of the time:

There was a time when living meant fearing,
    every second
    every touch
    every one

There was a time when safety was a myth
      to be known 
      only in
      death

That time was then, is now, and will always be
    until death's 
    comforting embrace
    welcomes me
    
So this i choose - 
    death in life
    untouched by fear
    safe for all eternity

The Broken Child was living in fear and despair. The Broken Child was also blessed. She was blessed to have a family who loved her, two children - not her own - who adored her, friends who made her laugh, and someone who reminded her of God's presence in her life, even when she was too far removed from living to feel it. She was blessed to have found a friend who wasn't afraid to believe her and to help fight for her life when Broken Girl felt lost and alone. She was blessed with a life partner who loves her, still-broken pieces included. 

I am thankful to the Broken Child - for deciding to live, for taking a chance, for letting people in, for speaking her truth, for reliving the pain, for continuing forward, and for opening herself to Love. Most of all, I treasure the ability to still see life with her eyes - eyes that see the Brokenness in each person I encounter. 


In every person exists a sadness, fear, or empty place that helps shape who they are and how they interact with the world around them. That we may recognize this and replace aggravation with concern, pity with compassion, and hate with love, the world might be a better place. 




  


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