Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Lifeless Stump


A green Shoot will sprout from Jesse’s stump, from his roots a budding Branch.The life-giving Spirit of God will hover over him, the Spirit that brings wisdom and understanding,The Spirit that gives direction and builds strength, the Spirit that instills knowledge and Fear-of-God.Fear-of-God will be all his joy and delight.He won’t judge by appearances, won’t decide on the basis of hearsay.He’ll judge the needy by what is right, render decisions on earth’s poor with justice.His words will bring everyone to awed attention. A mere breath from his lips will topple the wicked.Each morning he’ll pull on sturdy work clothes and boots, and build righteousness and faithfulness in the land.On that day, Jesse’s Root will be raised high, posted as a rallying banner for the peoples. The nations will all come to him. His headquarters will be glorious.  Isaiah 11:1-2, 10
I've felt like a lifeless stump more often than not lately. Damage done to my body while I was off psoriatic arthritis medication last year while undergoing neurological testing is causing me immense pain. Vicodin does little to take the edge off. Sleep doesn't come easy and is interrupted every twenty minutes or so by pain and the need to change position. 
Many days I feel useless, unable to move much due to pain and unable to put three coherent sentences together due to brain fog. 
I long for the tender shoot of hope that might come with upcoming medical procedures. I long to have a functional amount of pain rather than the torturous amount of pain I experience nearly every moment of every day.
Feeling stunted, unable to do as much as I wish, accomplish what I hope, or contribute what I need, I yearn for a tendril of direction for my life and for strength to continue to endure the ravages of these illnesses.  
This Advent I will pray and listen and hope. I will nurture any tender shoot of inspiration the Spirit plants within me and turn to God for the strength to persevere. 

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