It was bad news. Very bad news. My stomach was doing flips. I didn't know what to say. And then two unexpected words escaped my mouth, "Thank God!" I was just given a diagnosis of Psoriatic Arthritis, which changed my entire perception of my present and my future. Words like "severe" and "aggressive," "treatment" and "immediately" and concepts like "quantity versus quality of life" and "risk of incurable cancer" came to the forefront. It seemed that as the what-ifs started staggering through my mind, thoughts of gratitude cartwheeled through, giving me assurance and peace.
When I heard it, my stomach did flips. I stammered and stuttered.My bones turned to water. I staggered and stumbled.I sit back and wait for Doomsday to descend on our attackers.
Though the cherry trees don’t blossom and the strawberries don’t ripen,Though the apples are worm-eaten and the wheat fields stunted,Though the sheep pens are sheepless and the cattle barns empty,I’m singing joyful praise to God. I’m turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.Counting on God’s Rule to prevail, I take heart and gain strength.I run like a deer. I feel like I’m king of the mountain!
Habakkuk 2:1, 3:16-19
Waiting for Doomsday, with nothing... nothing but joyful praises, faith, and sheer joy! What is Habakkuk thinking? How could he possibly be going through all of this with such strong faith? Although he stammered and stumbled at first, he called on his faith to get him through. Going through a horrific situation and feeling like king of the mountain - imagine if we could do the same!
So many times over the past few years I have found myself waiting. Waiting for a diagnosis, waiting for test results, waiting for treatment options, waiting for a prognosis. I find I'm getting better and better at waiting with hope, in faith.
How are you with waiting?
When your world is crumbling around you, do you stress, worry, and ask why? Or do you take heart and gain strength from the knowledge that God is walking with you? Perhaps in the worst of times, praising God for our blessings is one of the only beneficial things to do. At the same time as we pray "help me" we ought to pray "thank you."
Thank you for the people in my life who support me. Thank you for love and laughter. Thank you for being with me always. Thank you for your Son. Thank you for Love come down. Thank you for always.
Thank you for filling me with so much joy I feel like king of the mountain!