Thursday, November 1, 2012

Head-On Collision

What it sometimes feels like!
I lay still, my mind consumed by pain. Taking stock of the situation, I realize how dire my predicament is. My left arm feels broken. Crushing pain in my left leg and pelvis prove me trapped here with little hope of moving in such a way as to get relief from the pain. Laying still, I concentrate on breathing, but that, too, is painful and difficult. My circumstances are bleak. I may never get to sleep.

I feel as if I've just been in a head-on collision and the pain will not relent enough to allow me to drift off. Even with a double dose of pain meds, a heating pad on my lower back, and with my left arm elevated, my psoriatic arthritis is winning its battle over my body and my ability to sleep. Even extreme exhaustion isn't helping the situation. Pain-induced insomnia reigns supreme. 

Hours later, my husband's alarm sounds. I still have not slept and my pain has only increased. He applies more heat to my back, gives me more medicine, and I'm able to drift off for twenty minutes. Bringing me coffee before he leaves for work, a look of concern crosses his face.Assuring him I'll survive, I manage to sit up to sip my coffee, knowing that if I allow myself to sleep just a bit more, I'll never be able to get up in time for the morning's activities. I'll nap later - hopefully not at church during worship!



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