Thank you for your call...

Thank you for calling, but I don’t need my chimney swept. Actually, I don’t have a chimney. Yes, it’s possible to not have a chimney. It’s called electric heat. Really. The entire house. No, no furnace. No fireplaces. No chimney. Ductwork? We don’t have any of that either. How does the heat … Google “radiator.”

Thank you for calling, but we don’t watch tv. Yes, we OWN at tv, but we don’t watch tv. What do we watch? Dvds. Sometimes we stream videos online. No, we don’t want to watch tv. At all. Really.

Thank you for calling, but we STILL don’t watch tv. Yes, someone from your company called last week. We haven’t changed our minds. Yes, really, no tv watching. *In a dreamy voice* We prefer to watch the clouds move gracefully across the sky, the wind rustling the leaves of the trees, the patterns the frost makes on the windows, squirrels scampering to and fro … why just this morning we watched a spider spin its web – fascinating!

Thank you for your call, but we don’t want a subscription to your publication. We’re not into killing trees for our potential education and / or amusement.

Thank you for your call, but we don’t need windows or siding.  We don’t believe in windows and our house doesn’t have any sides.

Thank you for your call – I’m so glad you contacted me! Do I have a deal for you! Could I interest you …hello?