Notes to self:

• When you hear two 3 year olds say words like “flick” and “farthest” along with a lot of giggling, check to see what they’re doing RIGHT AWAY. Waiting until you have finished reading the book to the 1 year old gives the 3 year olds enough time to flick approximately 237 tiny playdough balls all over the dining room.

•  When you’re relaxing on the bed with the sleeping 1 year old while the 3 year olds are napping and the big kids are entertaining themselves and you hear the ripping of Velcro behind you, act quickly, our you just might get a wet cloth diaper in the face.

• When you joke with the scary 3 year old about having spider pie for dinner, expect her to be upset when you don’t actually have spider pie for dinner. And be prepared to be asked by said 3 year old whether or not spiders are edible, be told to google it when you say you don’t know, and to insist that we’re not going to find edible spiders tomorrow upon discovering that there are indeed edible spiders.

• And most importantly – when opening a new prescription of brain-altering painkillers, examine the pills closely to make sure they’re the proper dosage, not half again what you’ve been prescribed. Why? Because they may make you a little more loopy than normal. Or a lot more loopy than normal.