[reason 268] because Zayla said

 Yesterday ...was it yesterday? Well, whatever recent day it was (no, Onyx, it wasn't last month or a year ago), Zayla commented that some weeks my new blog posts don't load. I needed to explain to her that sometimes I don't post for days and then play catch-up, setting the published on date to a previous day so I don't "miss" any. 

Most of the time I have the blog posts written in my head, as I tend to do when I take the photos that will eventually be in the blog posts. It's finding the time and mental capacity to sit down and type them out that's the issue. 

I'm trying to do better at posting every day. Really I am. I'm just not going to stress out if it doesn't happen. 

At the moment, I'm literally falling asleep typing because I'm just that exhausted.

But I love that Zayla reads my blogs regularly enough that she notices. It also is a little anxiety inducing being reminded that people actually read these things. I don't usually think about that when I write - I write these for me, to help me process all that is my life. 

This blog is a space where I've worked out my thoughts and feelings on myriad different things, where I've processed my and others' illnesses and the impacts on our lives; where I've left my worries; where I've let things go; where I've held on tight. I write to remember; to say what needs to be said; to express what's in my heart when I can't seem to find a way to do so otherwise.