Miracle Cure

I won't get into the details of the hour and twenty minute doctor appointment during which it took my primary care physician, two nurses, the Director of the Family Medicine Residency Program, and an ekg to diagnose what I had already told everyone concerned was a fungal infection. That hour and twenty minutes was spent with my five children in a very small room with only one chair. One of said children was four years old and overtired. Another of the children has sensory issues and for him this was sheer torture. But that's beside the point. 


I will fill you in on the results of this astounding appointment and the wonder drug I was prescribed. Hold on to your hats!


The prescription was called in to my local pharmacy, and as it took so long to diagnose my condition at the doctor's office, I didn't have time to pick it up that evening. The next day I was also short on time and chose the grocery store over the pharmacy. Spreading fungal infection or not, I only had time for one of the two errands. Later that day, I finally made it to the pharmacy - with four kids in tow and the delivery truck blocking the drive-up window. Half an hour later, I emerged from the pharmacy with my medication, four kids, and some snacks - or bribes - or whatever you want to call the foodstuffs I purchased as an apology to the children for dragging them out and waiting in line for what seemed like hours. 


After putting the kids to bed, I finally was able to investigate the potion that would rid me of my affliction. It was then that I discovered something mindblowing. The treatment for the fungal infection - the miracle cure - was selenium sulfide. "Ah! Selenium sulfide! How funny is that!?!" you say. Or not. Let's google selenium sulfide and see what image results we get, shall we? Here we go:

Hahahaha that's funny! No? Let's try again

Do you get it yet? Maybe? How about this one...

Selenium sulfide is the active ingredient in Selsun blue dandruff shampoo (and other medicated dandruff shampoos). Nearly two hours of my time and stressed out kids on two occasions for dandruff shampoo.

What have I learned from this? The next time tinea versicolor starts taking over my body, I'm going to pick up some Selsun blue while I'm grocery shopping and call it a day.