Once up on a time in a land called Supermarket there was a very frugal shopper. She had gone to the store for just two things, but as usual had her eyes open for bargains. First she visited the Island of Reduced Produce and invited a pound of organic strawberries into her carriage for a mere dollar eighteen. Tragically there were no deals to be found on Meat Row. Undaunted, she carried on. Upon entering the village of Scratch and Dent, she discovered Eden. At first she was taken aback at the size of it, amazed that it just went on and on. There were five BPA-free cans of Eden Organic Kidney Beans in all. The three dollar price scrawled atop each cylinder seemed too good to be true. Into her cart they leaped - well, it would have been nice if they'd leaped, as at nearly seven pounds apiece they were not exactly as light and airy as you'd envision Eden would be.
Purchases totaled and paid, a quite happy frugal shopper returned home. I wish I could say that everyone lived happily ever after, but alas, the strawberries met an early demise at the hands of a horde of ravenous children and the beautiful beans shall suffer a rather mundane existence on the pantry shelf until meeting their ultimate ruin in a fiery vat of chili.