[Seek] The Truth of Others' Situations

Complaints about wearing face masks clutter my social media feeds. It's inconvenient - I understand that. It's claustrophobic - I experience that, too. Some go so far as to say it's a loss of freedom, and people should not be forced to wear face masks - some to the point where they refuse to wear face masks, social distance, or do anything differently than they did pre-covid-19.

What I want to say to all these people is this...

Please go beyond considering all the reasons to not wear a mask and think about the people you are protecting from illness and death by wearing one. If you want to protect people's freedoms, why not protect the freedoms of chronically ill people to grocery shop without having a panic attack because so many people aren't wearing masks or keeping their distance? 

For me, grocery shopping is a huge risk to my health and my life. A common cold could land me in the hospital. The flu could cause major complications. Covid-19 would most likely kill me. These are facts that I live with every day of my life. 

In addition to multiple chronic autoimmune diseases, I have adrenal insufficiency - my body doesn't produce enough cortisol to sustain life. I have to take corticosteroids in order to live. In times of stress, including when ill, when in extreme pain, or when emotionally and mentally stressed, I have to updose - take additional corticosteroids in order to be able to function - to live. 

I went into adrenal crisis earlier this week after a trip to the grocery store due to people brushing against me, reaching over me to grab something on the shelf and touching me in the process, touching my cart, and moving my groceries on the belt to make room for theirs. When I asked the person touching my groceries politely to stop, they explained to me how this entire thing was blown out of proportion and the government was just trying to take away our freedoms and ... and ... and...

I explained to her that should she have the common cold, she could have contaminated my groceries and caused me to be seriously ill - and if she should have covid-19, she could kill me. When she accused me of being controlled by fear, I informed her that what I said were facts, not fear. That the medications I take that suppress my immune system make it so that I can live my life, while also putting my life in the balance. That I could live every day in fear of contracting some illness that will kill me, but that I choose instead to be careful, and to ask others to respect my need for social distancing and mask wearing so that I can have the freedom to shop without risking my health or my life.

I was wearing gloves and one of my precious few n-95 masks. Thank God I had disinfectant wipes in my car. I brought my cart full of paid-for food out to my van before bagging it in my bags from home. I wiped down every item before bagging it. I properly disposed of gloves and mask, drove home, and put the clothes I was wearing in the laundry and showered. Several hours later, I realized I was going into adrenal crisis. The stress from the shopping trip was too much for my system. My cortisol depleted, I was laying in bed, gasping for breath while my heart beat wildly in my chest. If I didn't get things under control soon, my blood pressure and pulse rate would then drop dangerously low. 

Adrenal crisis can easily lead to adrenal failure. I can't afford to go to the hospital. Pre-covid-19, I always worried going to the Emergency Department for myself or with one of my children. These days I am more apt to wait things out and hope for the best than seek medical attention. That's what many people living with chronic illnesses are dealing with these days - the tough decision of how sick is sick enough to risk it. 

To the woman at the supermarket - in addition to your comments about my fearful living, you accused me of hoarding food, as I had a cart full. I understand the issues with hoarding, however the fact is, I have seven people ages twelve and over living in my house. Because I have a weakened immune system and am running out of masks and gloves, I'm trying to only grocery shop every two weeks or so. Please trade your assumptions and judgement for  compassion and kindness. 

Everyone is welcome to believe their "truths" all they want, but please don't put others' health at risk in the process.

And to the kind woman in the parking lot who saw me loading a cart full of groceries into a fifteen passenger van with a disaster response logo on it - thank you for your kind, although misguided, comment. It was refreshing to have someone assume good for a change.