[Nevertheless] It Is Who They Are

So many things went through my mind when my middle child came out as gender non-binary on their seventeenth birthday - joy, thanksgiving, and fear among them.

Joy because they are comfortable living their truth, being who they are, and sharing who they are with others. Thanksgiving because they have the support of friends, family, and faith community. Fear because there are so many people in this world who react to gender non-conforming people with hatred and even violence. 

People ask me what it's like to have LGBTQ+ children. I explain that it's exactly like having children. It doesn't change who they are, it is who they are. 

Somehow, when children are young, it's ok for girls to be "tomboys." It's ok for teen girls to be athletic.  But once a young adult or adult says they don't identify as one gender or another, or identify as more than one gender or none at all, or identify as a gender that doesn't match their genitals, some people take issue. 

I don't understand how people can hate others automatically if they are anything other than cisgender and straight. I don't understand how people who call themselves Christian can go against what Jesus Christ lived out, what He taught us, what He told us to do - love others as He loves us...unconditionally, completely. Or how people can use parts and translations of the Bible for their own agenda. I don't understand how parents can kick their children out of their homes because of their sexuality or gender identity. 

Nevertheless, it is who they are - they are human beings just like the rest of us. Human beings with human bodies. Human beings with feelings; with hopes and dreams; and with an innate sense of who they are, how they define their gender, and to whom they're attracted. Gender and sexuality are just one facet of being human, and just like other facets, aren't determined by any physical part of one's body. 

It doesn't change who they are, it is who they are.