Rannygahoots

2011 has been a difficult year for me. My energy levels were low and pain levels high when the year started. My left ankle froze in February, which started what I would learn was a huge psoriatic arthritis flare. Through the process of getting diagnosed with PsA, I learned I also have celiac disease and other health issues. Then came the canes, then the wheelchair, as my health plummeted. I learned a lot about myself and those around me in the process - some good, some sad. I lost much, but gained even more. 


As I look forward to 2012, I find myself actually looking forward to 2012. Enbrel and being gluten-free will hopefully help me to feel more human. My new sense of self, perception of what's really important, regained spiritual center, and determination to maintain balance in my life will hopefully serve me well. 


Not one for making resolutions, instead, I make affirmations for the new year...



I will continue to simplify my house and my life, concentrating on what's really im…

I would be eternally grateful if you would cooperate a bit with me. It really burns me up that I'm having injection site reactions two weeks after the fact. The foot pain is really getting on my nerves. And please kindly remove the knife from between my shoulder blades at your earliest convenience, as the stabbing pain is impeding my movement. 
This has become especially important not because I'm very much far behind on housework, but because the eldest of my children have just purchased a Wii, and Wii bowling is right up my alley.
Warmest regards, Nym (who apologizes for this painfully punny post)

Psoriatic arthritis, hypothyroidism, anklylosing spondylitis, celiac disease, depression … none of these have physical manifestations readily recognizable to most passersby. I walk -- or wheel - hand in hand with them every day.

"But you seem happy enough…"

"But you don’t look sick…"

"But you don’t act like you’re in pain…"

Yes, I seem/look/act happy/healthy/fine, but looks can be deceiving. For example – can you tell me how many tattoos I have just by looking at me on any given day? (Some people would be shocked to know I have any!) Just because you can’t see them, it doesn’t mean that they’re not there.

I’m not a person who moans and complains about my ailments. I may make a general announcement to those in my household that I’m feeling ill, having a crappy day, or just can’t deal with ANYTHING today, but I’m not going to mope about all day or wince every time my foot hits the floor. That would just be too depressing to me and those around me.

A complete s…

Advent is a time of waiting. For most of my adult life, it meant waiting in the checkout line of store after store as I gathered treasures of all shapes and sizes for my loved ones, maxing out my credit cards in the process. Waiting for the timer to beep indicating it was time to remove yet another batch of cookies from the oven topped my list as well. Mostly I waited for the "Christmas Spirit" to fill me like it did when I was a child.


Nowadays Advent is much more simple. Gone are the credit cards. Gone are the expectations of an array of cookies whose leftovers would last through Valentine's Day. Gone is the feeling of need to give lots of stuff to lots of people, whether they want it or not. 


Each morning we move Mary and Joseph closer to Bethlehem on our Advent Calendar. We listen to Christmas hymns with some holiday tunes mixed in as we move about our day. We do kind deeds for others and plunk those blessings in the form of coins into our Angel Jar in preparation for …

It seems that my supply of spoons is dwindling. At this time last year, I had a good number of spoons when I started each day. When my flare started in February, half my spoons went down the drain. As the months have progressed, the number of spoons within my grasp on any given day has dramatically decreased. The cold weather has swallowed up yet more spoons, as my joints fight to stay warm enough to function. My recent celiac disease diagnosis and the changes going gluten-free in a gluten-lovers' household has brought on, not to mention Christmas preparations and Advent activities, has left me befuddled as to how I make it through some days without landing myself spoons debtor's prison.

But this is the month of hope. Hope that going gluten-free will improve my health. Hope that starting Enbrel (December 9) will slow the damage to my joints and free me of some PsA-related pain. Hope that the New Year will bring with it more spoons and a better quality of life. 
In the meantime, …

'Tis the season when my mind wanders to things I might purchase with any money I might receive as a Christmas gift. When I get past thoughts of paying bills and medical expenses, I let myself dream of lovely things. Things that will lift my spirit and feed my soul. Things that will bring me Comfort and Joy. The top things on my list?




- A nice, thick memory foam mattress topper 
- And THIS set of canes
Oh, and let's not forget the purple hair to go with the canes.
Along with completely unreasonable things like a hot tub, weekly massage and chiropractic adjustment, my very own bathroom with a huge handicapped accessible tub...and someone to deliver yummy gluten-free meals to me weekly. 
After mulling all this over, I realize that exactly what I want for Christmas is COMFORT and JOY. The Comfort of a good night's sleep... the comfort of relief from pain. And the Joy of wicked cool canes that don't kill my hands and totally rad hair to go with them. Who could ask for more?