[Nevertheless] It's Success

People around me seem to be crumbling under the weight of this thing we call success.

To be successful, we think we need to attain some sort of scholarly, career, social, and/or financial status. Status does not equal success. Status isn't even real, it's a sociocultural construct. Success is just an idea, an opinion.

Success, in its simplest form, has nothing to do with status or wealth, but has everything to do with accomplishing an aim or purpose.

So - what is your aim? What will that goal mean in your life? Will it fill you with purpose?

My purpose on this earth is not to be as good as or better than another person in some way. It is to be kind, giving, helpful - to brighten the lives of those around me - and to accomplish something good every day. Sure, my goal is also to be able to pay our bills, to keep the chaos in our house at a dull roar, and to raise children who are kind, giving, helpful, and follow their passions - but when it boils down to it, those things can be accomplished by my life's purpose.

One of the best things that I've received from the gift of chronic illness is that my focus has shifted from what I feel I need to be and do in order to be successful to what I feel I need to focus on and what I can share with others in order to feel successful. After all, someone can, by society's definition of success, be successful but not feel successful. One can have all the money in the world and yet not feel like a success, or one can not have any money and feel incredibly successful.

For me, some days success looks like spending the morning at the Department of Social Services helping a refugee family sign up to receive benefits that will help sustain them while they learn English and obtain employment, early afternoon with one of my children sharing laughter and sipping macchiatos while running errands, late afternoon at a doctor appointment with another of my children, and making breakfast for dinner before settling in for a family movie night.  Other days success looks like dragging my diseased body out of bed, to the bathroom, and back again without complaining too much and managing to be civil to my family members through the haze of exhaustion and pain that could last for days.

What a wonderful way I get to live! I wake up in the morning - success number one for the day! I'm able to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom on my own - another success. If I need help, it's still a success because I got out of bed. If I make it to scheduled appointments - success; wash dishes - success; help a child with a project or answer a question - success! If I cancel plans for the day and stay in bed all day and "do nothing" - success!!! (Do you have any idea how many people are complete failures at self-care?) (Usually me.)

When we define our own success, it's easier to ignore what society dictates as success.

Sometimes success doesn't look as society tells you it should, nevertheless, it's success if it aims you in the direction of achieving your purpose.