[Nevertheless] Expect Enough
It's a boy...or a girl... for instance. We buy gender-specific clothes and toys, as if there is such a thing.
From a young age, I wondered why toy cars were considered boy things when adults, regardless of gender, drive cars; and why baby dolls were considered girl things because parents, regardless of gender, take care of children. I enjoyed playing with both and found it ridiculous that I was a tomboy when I played with GI Joes at Jimmy Rossi's house next door and a girly girl when I played Strawberry Shortcakes with my girl friends at my house.
When our children are born, we envision what our children might become,often with assumptions of college and career. We hope our boys marry nice girls and vice versa. We even have expectations about their future partners. We have wild aspirations for our children, hoping for only the best things - in our opinions - for them.
Growing up, I knew I was expected to go to college, assumed I was supposed to be a doctor, and envisioned only marriage to a man. The older I got, the more miserable I was in school, the less doctors listened to me and believed me about my chronic pain and exhaustion issues, and the more confused I was about my attraction to all types of human beings. More than anything I wanted to be a mother, but I didn't think that was enough.
Expecting such great things for our children, do we leave room for them to be who they are, dream what they want to dream, or to follow their passions in life and love?
When I tell people I don't expect my children to go to college unless they decide they want or need to, they tell me I'm not expecting enough from my children. When people find out that we don't follow a curriculum, instead following our children's varied interests, they say I'm not expecting enough of my children.
I have to admit, when I became Mama to my children, I expected, well, not much. And I mean that in the best possible way. I expected them to explore the world around them, no gender-specifics attached. I hoped they would fall in love with someone and introduce me to them knowing I'd fully accept their sexuality, no strings attached. I wanted them to be who they were, to choose higher education only if and when they thought it was appropriate, and to know they always have a safe landing place in our home.
In our house, we may not learn or live or love in expected ways, nevertheless, our children retain most of what they learn while following their passions and their whims; we provide life experiences that are invaluable in their understanding of the world; and we celebrate the diversity God created.
Whomever they know themselves to be and whatever they do in life, I pray my children know that they are enough.
Growing up, I knew I was expected to go to college, assumed I was supposed to be a doctor, and envisioned only marriage to a man. The older I got, the more miserable I was in school, the less doctors listened to me and believed me about my chronic pain and exhaustion issues, and the more confused I was about my attraction to all types of human beings. More than anything I wanted to be a mother, but I didn't think that was enough.
When I tell people I don't expect my children to go to college unless they decide they want or need to, they tell me I'm not expecting enough from my children. When people find out that we don't follow a curriculum, instead following our children's varied interests, they say I'm not expecting enough of my children.
I have to admit, when I became Mama to my children, I expected, well, not much. And I mean that in the best possible way. I expected them to explore the world around them, no gender-specifics attached. I hoped they would fall in love with someone and introduce me to them knowing I'd fully accept their sexuality, no strings attached. I wanted them to be who they were, to choose higher education only if and when they thought it was appropriate, and to know they always have a safe landing place in our home.
In our house, we may not learn or live or love in expected ways, nevertheless, our children retain most of what they learn while following their passions and their whims; we provide life experiences that are invaluable in their understanding of the world; and we celebrate the diversity God created.
Whomever they know themselves to be and whatever they do in life, I pray my children know that they are enough.
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