To Get to This Point

How did I get here?

Did you ever stop and take stock of your life and wonder how you go to this point in life? What conspired to bring you to this exact place in life?

Every so often, when I have a time to step back and take a look at my life, I'm in near disbelief. How did I get here? How did this happen? 

How am I so blessed?

I have five children. Five children. Me. I'm a mom. To five children. Yes, the oldest is nineteen and the youngest is ten, nevertheless it still astounds me that I get to be a mom, and to five amazing children!

People often ask me, "how do you do it?" I assume they mean, how do I retain an iota of sanity parenting five children...nevermind two on the autism spectrum and two with chronic illnesses...or that three of them are teens, and one nearly so. I usually just shrug some sort of mumbled answer, not really knowing how to convey what goes into parenting this motley bunch of human beings. 

What I should say it this...

I love them for who they are, not some idea of who I think they should be.

I do my best to listen to them ... really listen - not with an agenda or in order to respond, but to hear, take in, and understand what they have to say.

I respect their opinions even if I don't agree with them.

My expectations of them are based on encouraging them to be kind, to use their gifts in a helpful manner, and to fearlessly follow their passions.

I measure accomplishments not only in forward motion toward a goal, but in joy received, kindness given, and their personal feelings of success.

I take many deep breaths as I allow them to do things at their own pace and in their own time, whenever possible...giving them a gentle nudge every now and then when it seems helpful.

I sometimes lose my temper and throw a fit and then apologize and ask forgiveness and work towards making this right. 

I encourage my children to learn from their mistakes instead of punishing them for them. I practice forgiveness.

I ask for their thoughts and opinions and then listen to them without argument or throwing in my two cents (most of the time).

I give them room to make their own decisions, providing gentle guidance when necessary.

I realize that any advice I offer can be taken or dismissed as they see fit. 

I celebrate their uniqueness. 

I trust, love, and believe my children. 
I realize what a gift my children are even on the difficult, heart-wrenching days. Especially on those days. 
I cry with my children, and laugh with them.
I learn from my children... they are some of my greatest teachers.
I try my best to not let my brokenness and my illnesses get in the way of them living their lives to the fullest.
I realize how blessed I am to be a Mama to these five beautiful human beings...and the four that were born into God's hands instead of mine.
I appreciate how precious my time with my children is and am thankful for every second

How do I do it? I live in gratitude for my children and all they bring to my life and believe they are worth every tear, every sleepless night, and .... everything. I live every day with the excitement that comes with the first positive pregnancy test - the joy of getting to be a mom, the amazement that I was able to get to this point. A mom. Me.