All the world is made of faith, trust, and pixie dust. J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
Sometimes I forget. A lot of the time lately, in fact.
It seems the more pain I experience, the more ill I feel, the less money we have, the more things are breaking down, the more I tend to forget to pay attention to faith, trust, and pixie dust.
I forget to take a moment or twenty to thank God for all the blessings in my life and ask for guidance and patience along life's path. I get too wrapped up in thinking about how much I have lost physically; in the feeling of once again falling behind in life; and in the realization that things can get very much worse for me, for us, quickly.
I forget to trust that things will work out one way or another. Worry about the future clouds my ability to enjoy the moment. The what-ifs corrode my happiness, eating away at hope until I feel I'm more struggling to survive than living.
I forget to let my children be children. Noisy children. Rambunctious children. Creative, awesome, adventurous children. Children who believe that life is all about faith, trust, and pixie dust.
All because I want peace and quiet. And to not think or feel or deal with anyone else or anything else for a while. Perhaps also because I want to solve life's problems now, instead of waiting for things to fall into place, and that just might happen if I could just get a moment of peace.
It's easy to lose track of the whimsy of life when you live with chronic pain or chronic illness. Too easy. Slipping into anger and despair seems so much easier. It certainly must take much less energy.
We forget it's just as easy and better for our health to laugh. Laughter, fun, hope, confidence that things will work out for the best, even though they may look bleak now - these are essential not just for survival, but for prospering despite life's obstacles.
And so I step out in faith that good things will come from all this; in trust that I am strong enough and weak enough and together enough and broken enough to get through this - all with the help of