Me Too

As a child, I was given the message that I was somehow less than in reference to boys because I was not allowed to do things such as be an altar boy in church or play baseball with the boys.

I was chased around the playground by a boy who threatened to kiss me, no matter how much or how loudly I said no.

As a teen I was sexually abused.

And raped. 

As a young adult,  I was afraid to walk across my college campus at night, alone.

Men pressed up against me in bars, saying suggestive things - even men who knew I was married.

And things haven't improved as an adult. 

I've had people talk to my husband about me, in my presence, referring to me as "she" and not acknowledging that I am a person, an equal, and can speak for myself. 

I've had men suggest that they need to talk with my husband about things surrounding car and home repairs, as if women are by default lacking in knowledge about such things - and men by default know about these things. 

I've been dismissed by male doctors when I've questioned the information they were telling me about breastfeeding, citing medical studies to support my medical decisions when they had no sources to cite to back up their own "information." I've been told my male doctors that I was just being dramatic, when in fact, I was in extreme pain, and deeply depressed. 

Most women are aware of how differently they're treated daily. Women with abusive pasts live with some amount of residual fear every day. 

But this is not a women's problem. It's a men's problem. It's about how men act, what they think, and how they treat women. Many men don't realize that what they are doing is wrong. Many think they treat all people equally when their behavior says otherwise. But even if their own behavior doesn't reflect this mindset, perhaps their lack of action when another man mistreats a woman does. 

As a woman, I tend to need to stand up for myself and for other women all too often. 

I'm not saying that others aren't mistreated, or that men are exempt from sexual harassment or abuse. But today I'm speaking up for women. Especially those who don't feel they have a voice. 

Whatever your gender, please be mindful of how you treat others, what you think of others, and what you say about others, even when they're not listening.