[reason 53] fifty-one

My parents' 51st Anniversary was on Sunday. And I completely forgot. 

In my covid-19 booster vaccine-induced misery, I forgot that it was even Sunday. I thought it was Saturday all day and wasn't aware of the actual date. And then all of a sudden it was Monday and I had a day of medical appointments and catching up with housework and filing paperwork with DMV and completing intake for an upcoming medical procedure and scheduling appointments with doctors and filling out paperwork and ... and ... and... And then it was Tuesday and for some reason I thought it was still the week before. 

I already had a gift for them. I created it weeks ago. 

I already had a meal planned for our weekly dinner with them tonight. 

So here is your belated anniversary post, Mom and Dad. Sorry for the delay.

51 things I learned from my parents:

1.  If you ever misspeak, it will become the actual word for something when speaking with another family member. You'll need your elephant for the rain and to go seltzer when you're in a hurry. 
2. Having a sense of humor is key when dealing with ... well ... anyone.
3. Laughter is not only the best medicine, but it is the best way of getting out of being in trouble.
4. Grandkids should get away with more than your children did. Or that you knew your children did, anyway.
5. Holding a baby makes it impossible to do anything except hold a baby, especially dishes. Putting the baby down is never an option.
6. Everyone needs a napping chair. 
7. Ginger ale is for tummy aches. 
8. Ginger ale with grenadine is a fancy drink suitable only for special occasions when you're a child.
9. Hershey kisses make taking medicine better. 
10. Whenever possible, choose kindness.
11. Having alone time is sometimes necessary, even if it tortures your children.
12. It's great to be involved in your kids' activities, and you can do so in a way that doesn't intrude on your kids' ownership of the activities.
13. A car full of people sitting in silence can turn into a car full of people laughing hysterically (after perhaps screaming hysterically) with one loud cock-a-doodle-doo.
14. Music and snacks are necessities on long car rides. And juice boxes. 
15. Saying yes to taking a bunch of your teens' friends along on a "vacation" is totally worth it, even if the vacation part affects them much more than it does you.
16. Playing card and board games as a family is fun, especially on vacation.
17. Vacations should involve at least one puzzle.
18. It's not necessary to be perfect.
19. It's not necessary to have all the answers. After all, you could just as easily make stuff up.
20. Sleeping in your mom's bed and banishing your dad to your bed is acceptable when you're not feeling well. 
21. Feed the squirrels.
22. Volunteer.
23. Family traditions are good - and they can evolve to work for your family.
24. Tell stories, especially fun ones about family.
25. Do what you love.
26. Family doesn't need to be genetically related - family is who we love.
27. Listen to your Auntie Mabel, get your elbows off the table.
28. It is indeed possible to sing out of your ears. Really.
29. Support your children, even when they make strange life choices.
30. Believe your child (or at least believe in their choice) when they tell you they won't cry this time, and then sit with them when they cry. (It's not my fault that Hush-A-Bye is in a minor key and that I love the song and that it made me cry every. single. time. my mom sang it to me as a child.)
31. When taking your child out for a day away from the mental health facility they checked themself into for a couple weeks, buy the giant Elmo - because the nurses said they could have one "stuffed animal" and neglected to dictate the size limit.
32. The woman piaba and the man piaba ...
33. How to properly make a bed.
34. How to properly set a table and which fork is which.
35. Learn new things.
36. Go new places.
37. Drink responsibly - as in, "whose turn is it for the Carrington's Coffee?"
38. Return to the places you love - the places that nourish your soul - as often as you can.
39. Find your people. 
40. Also find people who are not like you - they can be your people, too,
41. Bedtime songs don't necessarily need to be appropriate for bedtime. (Is "Tom Dooley" or "Enter Sandman" more appropriate? Asking for a friend.)
42. You can have an argument with someone and still love them ... or because you love them. 
43. Read books. Lots of books.
44. Help others with your time and your talents. 
45. Listen to music. 
46. Share what you love with others.
47. Coffee.
48. Create a place for people to land ... for your kids' friends who stop by to see if you have leftover Chinese food or to stay for a day or three ... for friends who are weathering a storm ... for a horde of teenagers who don't want to go to the prom, but want to have their own celebration.
49. Spend quality time with loved ones.
50. Laugh every day.
51. Leave a legacy of love.
    

Happy 51st Anniversary!