[a moment] when i just didn't want to

[moment 122]

I lay in bed contemplating everything I needed to do for the day, and really just didn't want to.

I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to have to do things. I didn't want to have to deal with all my health issues and the great amount of pain I'm in. I didn't want to have to spend my day wondering if this or that was the result of chronic illness, medication side effects, or something new. 

I just wanted a day off from my life. 

But I don't get a day off from pain, illness, exhaustion, brain fog, etc. Ever. And some days I just don't want to ... anything.