[Adventures] in Getting Out

[Adventure 20]

For years I felt stuck. I was enjoying my life as a mom of five children, with usually close to twice that in my house on any given day, but still I felt stuck. I was doing the same things every day - and doing most of those things for others. By the time the fifth child came along, there wasn't much parenting-wise that threw me for a loop. I'd learned what I needed to about cloth diapering, elimination communication, breastfeeding, babywearing, and all such things. We had a routine going of the arrivals and departures of other people's children, homeschool activities, playdates, church gatherings, and other outings. I was focused so much on my family that I didn't give much thought to myself. 

And then my as yet undiagnosed chronic illnesses got exponentially worse. My busy mom life came to a screeching halt. I had to rethink everything and attempt to keep life as normal as possible for my children. We had to let go of the busy-ness and get creative. And for once I had to concentrate some of my energy on myself. 

During this time of going from walking to crutches to a wheelchair in a matter of months, my mental health spiraled as well. I didn't just feel stuck, I felt trapped in my body, in my house, and in my mind. So I decided to get out.

I let go of the notion that I was trapped in a body that didn't work, forced to use mobility devices to get around. I instead realized that I was living in a body that worked differently than it had before, and that I was blessed to have things that helped me get around and do things I love with the people I love. 

I got out of my house when I was able, exploring the world in my wheelchair, often with a child hitching a ride on the back. We started going to aquariums, science centers, and museums much more often, as the children could run (walk) free and get their energy out while I conserved my energy. On good days, we went hiking with my husband at my side, me on crutches, enjoying nature together - and then curled up in bed watching movies for the rest of the day, my body done, but not the fun!

I got out of the thought patterns of fear and hopelessness that had taken over my mind through prayer, opening my eyes to the beauty and joy around me, and through taking on things that were beyond my comfort levels, but helped me grow. Through the following years I got more involved in our church and in our homeschool co-op. Eventually I attended the School of Lay Ministry and began doing costuming for theatrical productions my children were in. I was blessed to have people in my life who suggested things to me or asked me to do things that I wouldn't have ordinarily sought out - and to have had the Spirit move me to say yes when my brain was screaming no way! I was even more blessed to have these people have faith in me that I could do these things. 

When we're feeling stuck, sometimes the way out is to get out of our own thought patterns, our own comfort zones, and find a new perspective, a new passtime, a new passion.

And in these days of feeling trapped by a world tortured by inequality and oppression, perhaps we can find new ways to get out of our complacency to spread love, promote peace, and advocate for the oppressed.