[Nevertheless] It Beginning to Look a Lot Like [Advent 3]

"What does your life look like right now?"

Someone asked this question, and I was taken aback. What does my life look like?

At first glance, it looks like chronic illness management and medical appointments. Like a cluttered house and a mile-long to do list. Like an overgrown yard and unfinished projects. It looks like my bed in my living room and a pile of clean clothes on the chair next to it that need to make their way to my closet. It looks like physical therapy equipment in my dining room and a mountain of supplements at my bedside.

That is my life. But it's not the grand total of my life.

My life is reading good books in waiting rooms, uninterrupted by children with questions and needs. It is getting to spend one-on-one time with children, having a great time chatting and listening to music during our many drives to appointments, and passing time between appointments at a science center, museum, or coffee shop. It's hiking on crutches on my good days and curling up in bed with a child or three and watching movies on bad days.

Today, my life looks like prop money I created, coveralls in need of transformation to a Department of Corrections jumpsuit, clean clothes that need to be put away, suitcases and bins that need to be unpacked, and a stack of medical and other paperwork that needs my attention. It looks like a mess, but that's because so much good has and is happening. We've gone from a wonderful Thanksgiving trip to PA to visit my husband's family - thus the unpacking - right into tech week for Cease Fire, a play in which two of my children are acting - and I, apparently, am creating some props and costumes. 

I get to use my creativity creating costumes and props for theatrical productions; composing lessons for @ the table and homeschool co-op; and leading paint nights at my church. I get to have great conversations with wonderful people who remind me to take care of myself when they think I'm doing too much.

I may have a messy house from one costuming or craft project or another, along with the neglected clean laundry and stuff that gets abandoned on a chair or table awaiting my attention, but that's ok. 

My life these days looks a lot like a mess, but a good mess. The kind of mess you make when you're in the middle of creating something beautiful.