[Nevertheless] She Is
It's been a year.
It's been a year of missing her when she's at her boyfriends house for days on end, but realizing this is the natural progression of things and soon enough she'll be moved out of the house and on her own.
It's been a year of wanting to propel her forward toward her goals while realizing that gentle urging is ok, but she needs to do these things on her own and in her own time.
It's been a year of continuously being amazed at what a wonderful young woman she is - her small and large acts of kindness not going unnoticed or unappreciated by her mama. It is her kindness and compassion amidst the turmoil and uncertainty of young-adulthood that really touches my heart.
It's been a year since we celebrated her true self.
And today we celebrate nineteen.
When Zephyr was born, I cut her umbilical cord, separating her only physical bond with me.
When she was one, I watched as she climbed and jumped and dared to do things that make a mother worry - and I let go of the fear of the what-ifs and celebrated her bravery and skill.
When she was nearly two, she was thrust into the middle child role for a bit, only seeming concerned about when her baby sister was going to be capable of playing with her.
When she was three, she decided she could do everything all by herself. That is, everything she wanted to do. Everything else was deemed utterly impossible.
When she was four, she loved pink. She wanted pink hair. I said ok to a wash-out hair dye. It didn't wash out. She was overjoyed.
When she was five, a Moondragon entered her life. She at the same time announced that we had too many children and doted on her baby sibling like no other.
When she was six, she wore tie dye nearly exclusively. At least we didn't lose her at the park or the beach!
When she was seven and her siblings nicknamed the baby in my belly, "Oni," she discovered it meant both last and demon. She preferred demon.
When she was eight she decided she was right. Although had to admit that Alia was a cute demon.
When she was nine, Zephyr told me she would make a great only child.
When she was ten, she took a theater class at a place called Epoch Arts in East Hampton, CT, thanks to her geographically challenged mother, who thought it was much closer to Bristol than it was. Epoch Arts and the friends she's made there have been a true blessing in our lives.
When she was eleven, she started reminding me that she was almost a teenager and being a teenager, she was going to make lots of mistakes and be very moody because that's what teenagers do, and needed me to be prepared for this eventuality.
When she was twelve, she had a huge crush on a friend who also happened to be a boy, which I thought was wonderful.
When she was thirteen, she shaved her head bald for her Halloween costume - a borg. She was much more relaxed about it than I was when I shaved my head.
When she was fourteen she lived out the promises of mistakes and moodiness, teaching me so much about love and compassion and how our children can be so painfully like us.
When she was fifteen, the two of us discovered that we cannot go see a movie together, as our combined energy auras seem to break one thing or another - usually the projector, sometimes the popcorn making machines - all of them.
When she was sixteen, I finally got to see her in a dress. Ok, it was a tutu. And it was for an Epoch parade, so more of a costume. Someday, though...someday... Oh, and she got her first tattoo.
When she was seventeen she got a job, spent lots of time with friends, and worked a lot on herself and being comfortable with who she knew herself to be. She gave me the best Mother's Day gift ever.
When she was eighteen, she had one Epoch party to celebrate, finally finally finally speaking her truth to her friends and family. She also, with much encouragement from what I understand, let this boy named Finn know how she felt about him and let's just say they've been fairly inseparable ever since.
Happy 19th Birthday, Zephyr Tierney Steyer!
Happy Birthday, Zephyr!
ReplyDelete