[Nevertheless] I'm Still

Cold is seeping into my bones. My sweater is in my van. I'm on a couch at Epoch Arts, computer in my lap, contemplating whether or not to get my sweater.

I am also tired. I fell asleep just before 4AM. Coren came downstairs with a bloody nose just after 4AM. Jim went to Coren's rescue while I contemplated getting out of bed to see if help was needed. Said contemplation took so long, help was not needed. Jim went right back to sleep. I did not. At all. 

And so I sit, again contemplating whether it is worth it to emerge from the relative comfort of the couch into the cold night air to retrieve a sweater from a cold van. It would require putting my computer down, putting shoes on, and retrieving my keys from my purse in the other room, before I even step out the door. Then there are the stairs, and the parking lot and the cold. 

And my sweater will probably be cold. Do I really want to put a cold sweater on my already cold body? Will I get colder in the process? Maybe if I sit with my sweater in my lap under my computer for a few minutes to warm it up, that would help. But would the getting colder in the first place negate the whole warming up of the sweater thing? 

Rehearsal will continue for another hour, at least. Do I really want to be this cold, possibly colder, for that long? I should just go get it. But then the nice warm couch will get cold in my absence. And then I'll be colder when I sit back down. 

I do have to go to the bathroom. So I could do that, then get my sweater, then warm my sweater, then wear my sweater. That might work, depending on what my body does when I actually make it off this couch. 

This is the amount of thought I quite often put into doing things most people wouldn't give a second thought to doing. Some days, even the simplest of things requires great thought and planning as I try to use my energy as efficiently as possible. I used to get frustrated that so much thought has to go into something so simple, but typing it out it seems more amusing than annoying. Perhaps I should prune my frustration and pay closer attention to my entertaining thought processes.

I did get my sweater, nevertheless, I'm still cold.