[Nevertheless] The Branches Were Severed

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit.            John 15:2

My husband and I have had to let go of a lot over the past couple months so that we could reconnect with each other and with our own lives. We are letting go of guilt - my husband of guilt surrounding a close friendship during a time he was pulling away from the pain of loving me through chronic illness and me, the guilt of being more burden than helpmate. 

Through the process of cutting off the branches of guilt, other branches fell away as well - fear of hurting, loving, losing the other person; anger at ourselves and the situation; lonliness of living in a constant state of emotional pain caused by this tangle of negativity. It was only when these diseased branches began to fall away that healing could begin. 

What scared me most about this process was that, for a while, I didn't feel relief from the release of these harmful aspects of my life. I had gotten so comfortable in my isolation, guilt, and anger that I found it difficult to embody the healing that was taking place. 

Nevertheless, as the branches fall away, I feel new life spring up within me.