[Nevertheless] We Are

My husband and I have had a rough time of it for a while now. I don't think either one of us was aware of just how lost we were. Pain, love, illness, confusion, and life circumstances caused a complacency that can happen when you've been married for over half your life and aren't in a good personal place. We isolated ourselves from each other in many ways, not realizing the other was just as lonely, broken, and lost. The disconnect grew as our guilt for not being what the other needed and feeling we couldn't be our authentic selves with each other because we thought it would hurt the other became overwhelming. Both of us were too confused, exhausted, and in such great emotional turmoil that we couldn't share our pain with each other out of fear of hurting the other. Although our love was constant, our connection with each other was broken.

And then it all went incredibly wrong. 

A nearly sleepless, tear-filled, heartbreaking night of deep discussion revealing heartwrenching pain and hurt dawned into a day flowing with tears, doubts, and deep sorrow.

Nevertheless, in this darkness, a healing spark kindled the brighter flame of hope. Through sharing our brokenness, we understand each other better. We are taking responsibility for our mistakes. We are forgiving. We are moving forward, working every day to connect, to remember, to love, to heal, to find our way back to each other. We are giving each other the gifts of time, patience, and grace as we stumble down the rocky road of life together. We are once again we.  

For my birthday, today, my husband wrote a beautiful poem, a public (well, facebook) proclamation of our love and devotion in the midst of our brokenness...