Twenty-six: Joy

“There were thousands and thousands of forms of joy in the world, but that all were essentially one and the same, namely, the joy of being able to love.”   - Michael Ende, The Neverending Story

I thought I knew what joy was.

I really thought I knew what joy was. Then I fell in love. 

It was then I thought I knew joy. 

Then I got pregnant.

This must be the joy of all joys, I assumed. 

Holding my child in my arms for the first time, I knew - I just knew- that this was the ultimate joy. What joy is greater than bringing a child into the world? What brings more joy than a baby's smile? 

I thought I knew what love was.

I really thought I knew what love was. Then I fell in love. 

It was then I thought I knew love. 

Then I got pregnant.

This must be the love of all loves, I assumed. 

Holding my child in my arms for the first time, I knew - I just knew- that this was the ultimate love. What love is greater than one's love for their child? 

And then it happened. It was during Easter Vigil worship seven years ago. I held my newly born baby girl in my arms and took in the moment. Water was poured over her head and the Pastor's words echoed in my heart:

"...called by the Holy Spirit, trusting in the grace and love of God..." 

"Sustain Alia with the gift of your Holy Spirit; the spirit of wisdom and understanding; the spirit of counsel and might...the spirit of joy in your presence, both now and forever."

It was then that my heart felt the impact of what my brain had been trying to wrap itself around forever - the complete joy of God's grace, God's love, God's presence...for this little life ... for myself ... for us all.

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Forty Days In Thought, Word, and Deed