Random Conversation [Adventure]

 

[Adventure 132]

After an appointment with my neurologist, I needed to get some bloodwork done, so I headed to the hospital next door to take care of it right away. 

Upon entering the waiting room, I found it vacant. The person at the desk ushered me in right away and complimented me on my rainbow colored mask. I told her that considering that everyone except my husband in our seven person family identifies as LGBTQIA+, I thought it was only fitting. 

We chatted while she worked and as she was finishing up she mentioned that her daughter now goes by *masculine name* and uses he/him pronouns at school and when the two of them are on their own, but they live with grandparents who wouldn't be comfortable with that sort of thing so use she/her and her "real name" at home. She said that she really doesn't understand it.

My mind grasped for the right words to say. As words stumbled out of my mouth they formed something to the effect of, "Wow, that must be tough for both of you, switching between him being his true self while at school and with you and then having to conform to what his grandparents expect when at home. I'm sure he appreciates the effort you're putting into respecting who he is." I'm not sure she knew how to respond. I continued, "Sometimes all we can do as parents is love our kids and believe and respect them when they let us in on their journey to discover who they truly are. One of the easiest ways to do that is to use the name and pronouns with which they feel most comfortable, even if those change over time. Your son is lucky to have a mom who's willing to learn about all this stuff." 

I left hoping that this was the encouragement she needed to support her son. That maybe she checks out some resources on supporting transgender youth and gives her son a big hug and lets him know she's glad he exists and that he's valid and important and loved. That she believes him and supports him.