[Seek] Family

[Advent 16]

I have a lot of children. 

I'm not just talking about the five children I birthed, I'm talking about my other children - the children who have their own (amazing) mothers, but whom I love like my own children. 

Some of these children have come into my life through being the children of friends of mine, entrusted to my care for a small part of their lives when they were very young. Others have come into my life as friends or significant others of my teen / young adult children. Others have wandered into my life and my heart in various other ways.

I got to visit one of my "children," who is now a grown adult, several times this year. His own mother hasn't been as lucky, and that makes me sad for them both, as I know the great love they have for each other. I got to give him a little extra cash, have wonderful conversations with him, and listen to him gush about his beautiful daughter. 

Something that no one prepared me for was the loss I would feel when my child would break up a with a significant other and that person would be in our lives much less or not at all. Still, I send a birthday gift, I continue to pray for that child, I reach out to that child. I want them to know they will always be in my heart. 

Recently my eldest daughter walked into the room where I was painting and watching Christmas movies and said two words, "Can Fynn..." and my immediate response was "Yes!!!" I must have said yes several more times as she finished asking me if he could come to our house for a couple days and explained to me about how safe he is with covid related protocols and such. I'm quite sure I didn't actually hear exactly what she was saying because my brain was responding with, "Yes, of course my child can come home! Are you frickin kidding me? Is this even a question? I've missed him so much and have been thinking about him and praying for him and hoping that he's doing ok with all the things he has to deal with at the moment. Yes! Of course he can come home!"

I hope all of my children know that even if I don't see them often, I'm here if they need me. And that they can always come home.