[Nevertheless] I Explain

There are many people who don't know, and I often forget that they don't know. Nevertheless, I explain.

When I'm at home, or at Epoch Arts, or at church, I usually don't use my crutches unless I'm in dire need of doing so. However, occasionally I am in need - my knee is acting up, my hip is slightly out of joint, or my sacroiliac joint pain is overwhelming and makes walking unassisted too painful. 

This is when people who have never seen me use crutches ask what I did to myself to end up on crutches or some variation of that question. I spend a great deal of my life on crutches, I explain. Just not usually here. It comes with my various chronic illnesses...psoriatic arthritis, spondylitis, hEDS. I have arthritis in every joint. I subluxate or dislocate joints on a regular basis. I live in chronic pain. 

People are often shocked. But you act so...normal ... they say. 

People who live with chronic illness often do. Act normal, that is. As normal as possible, anyway. I am not one to complain - and if I'm complaining or acting ill it's because I'm well beyond being able to put on the mask of normalcy. I'm not ok - the kind of not ok that has most people seeking emergency medical treatment - except it's just normal life for me.

And then I do something such as go out to get an iced macchiato and walk back into the building without the use of crutches, which tends to make people doubt the veracity of my earlier explanation. Caffeine, I explain, takes precedence over mobility assistance. 

I really need a cup-holder for my crutches.