Giving Up Lent

Each Lent I take up rather than give up. I find taking up a practice that helps me become a better person or that spreads some love ... or both ... works better for me than giving up something for Lent. 

Except this Lent. 

This Lent, I'm giving up.

I'm giving up being down on myself when I don't get the things done that I want to do in a day.

I'm giving up worrying about things I can't control. 

I'm giving up putting pressure on myself to write more, do more, have a cleaner house, be more organized, and all the things that take away from me saying yes when my children ask me to do something with them. 

I'm giving up feeling like I should be contributing financially to my family, as it's just not possible for me to be gainfully employed at this point in time and it's a full time job managing my health. 

I'm giving up trying to explain myself to people who only want to convince me that they are right and that they know better than I do about myself or my family.

I'm giving up feeling guilty about getting myself a coffee when I need one, and the other little things I do to care for myself during the day that I have convinced myself are selfish. 

I'm giving up having expectations of improvement in my health in the near future, not in a depressing way, but in a freeing way, as accepting my continuing decline in health and dealing with what that means as it comes is more comforting then dashed hopes and unfulfilled plans. 

I'm giving up giving up, especially in those moments when I think I'm at the end of my physical, mental, or emotional rope, so that I can open my eyes to what is holding me back and grab onto another rope to pull myself up and start anew.