To Let Spirit Guide Me

"I want to die." That was the first thought that crossed my mind upon waking New Year's Day. Pain wracked my body and tortured my soul. Emerging from a rare pain-free dream, my mind struggled to come to terms with the reality of another day in this body.

"God, help me..." was my second thought - the start of a prayer that takes different forms each morning as I labor to coax my body into action. 

So started my first day of 2018. 

My second morning started similarly. And when I think about it, I don't see it as a bad, thing, just my reality. It's what I need to go through to get to the good part of the day. 

Each morning I struggle to get moving, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. Knowing how much it's going to hurt to move makes wanting to move difficult. Knowing how much better I'll feel once I get going propels me forward. 

Once moving, things improve. I go about my day finding balance with movement and rest, ticking things off my to-do list, and spending time with my children. I work on things about which I'm passionate and get to enjoy snuggles with children who will soon outgrow their enjoyment of snuggling with their mama while watching something on Netflix or while reading. I am blessed to be able to do things I love and to spend quality time with those I love.

As I move on with my day, I move on with intention to make the most out of it.


Today I intend to ...

Let Spirit guide me as I choose movies and Christian songs to share at Tuesday Night Sunday School; as I plan lessons for Homeschool Co-op; and as I reach out to others having difficulties in life at the moment.

Let Love guide my words and my actions as I begin my day with little sleep and in great pain. 

Avoid unnecessary distractions until work is done and enjoy necessary distractions when they come along.