Dear Camp Counselor

A couple hours of my day were spent filling out forms for five children so that they can attend camp at Camp Calumet Lutheran this Summer. Part of the filling-out process involves the kids completing a "Camper's Letter to the Staff," which happens to be on the flip side of the "Parent's Letter to the Staff." 

In the Camper's Letter to the Staff, we find out just how odd my children are. one in particular stood out this year - our newest camper, just-turned-six-year-old Alia. Her counselors may fear her before they meet her. 

Here's a glimpse into the mind of my unique child:

I am coming to Camp Calumet because: I'm finally six and I've been looking forward to all the fun things at Day Camp for two years!

What I look forward to doing most is: going to the beach and Drama Camp.

What I don't want to do at Calumet is: drown in the lake.

I am afraid of: drowning. (Really, Mama, they need to realize that people can drown. Even in an inch of water. Although I'm fine in an inch of water. Or six inches. Or twenty inches. Just not. over. my. head. EVER. Otherwise I'm fine. But not in a canoe. Maybe a double kayak. The part about am I very quiet - I'm definitely a no on that.)

I'd like my counselors to know this about me: I like mismatched clothes; and Coren, who is also in Day Camp, is my brother; and I like dead things.

I like dead things. She INSISTED I include her love of dead things. This is important to who I am, Mama. I am a person who likes dead things.

I tried, in my line and a half of "Things which we feel deserve special attention," to explain Alia's fascination with the inner workings of animals' bodies and death, in hopes that they read my letter before hers. I was tempted to just write, "Be afraid. Be very afraid," but I resisted.