The [Adventure] of the Risks of Getting Better

[Adventure 361]

I will never be well, but I may get better. Not better as in cured, but better as in slowing down my body's attempt to kill itself. 

In order to attempt this miraculous feat, I risk a lot. I risk living as an immunocompromised person in a global pandemic. I risk the hefty possible side effects and complications of the medication, which include a variety of things from nausea to life-threatening infections to cancers.

I also risk the medication not working and giving up six or more months of my life to finding out that it's not working and then an additional six months or more seeing if a different medication works, and so on until I find one that does. 

I risk my disease doing more damage to my body in the time it takes for the medication to work, if it works. Some people on the medication I just started taking via monthly infusion (after loading doses every two weeks for three doses) start experiencing relief at three months, some not until six months, so the plan is to take it for at least six months and see how it goes. In the meantime, I'm off all other treatments, so will most likely get worse - probably much worse - until I start getting better. 

So I put it all on the line to try to regain the ability to walk, move ... exist ... without being in extreme pain ... perhaps even to get back to hiking (on crutches). 

Until then, I will once more be limiting my time out of the house, my family will continue to be as safe as possible when around other people, and we will figure out what life looks like for all of us as a consequence of the risks of trying to get me to a place of greater health.