[Seek] Peace with Not Being OK

I'm not OK right now.

My levels of pain and exhaustion have reached new levels, fed by inactivity and loss of human connection and inability to see a doctor because my medical stuff is non-urgent at this point.

I'm not OK. And that's OK.

All I want to do is stay in bed and binge-watch Survivor. Actually, I want to curl up in bed with a good book, but my attention span and ability to concentrate aren't that great. I also want to do a bunch of projects around the house, but my body isn't cooperating so much. I am spending a good period of time in bed, because that's all I can do. 

Beginning to feel like my life at the moment is a complete waste of time, I remind myself that this is time well spent. I'm doing my best to take care of my body and be gentle with myself and that's what needs to be done right now.

Every time I go to the grocery store I feel like I'm absorbing germs and feel the need to decontaminate myself upon my arrival home. I'm also more than slightly freaked out that my husband goes to work with people and could potentially be bringing home a lethal dose of germs. It's OK for me to freak out a little - it keeps me safer than not freaking out at all, and I'm finding a good balance between paranoia and peace.

It's OK not to be OK right now. There is no right way to feel. One moment you may be panicking, the next you may be enjoying yourself. Both are appropriate reactions to this unique time in which we're living.